Sometime during the summer before heading off to college, I was told by a friend that Beta was interested in hooking up with me.
I was also interested. Beta was slightly attractive with a nice body and I’d known him for a few years through my ex turned bff. There was no interest in pursuing a relationship on either part and no-strings-attached sex seemed perfect for me before moving to another state for college.
Id met the goal of having my sexual debut, but I knew (mostly anecdotally) that the more I had sex, the more comfortable I would be with myself and my sexuality. I was interested in getting to a point where I knew my body and limits more and saw sex as more pleasurable overall. I was a young lady on a mission!
I think it important to note here that I’ve always prided myself on taking charge of my sexuality and knowing what I’ve wanted. I’ve felt in control since the beginning. Powerful almost. Mastering the art of seduction.
Beta and I didn’t have much chemistry so sex was sub par at best. But, before the night was over I aimed to try fellatio. I felt fairly good about my performance but returned home without thinking much of it. Within the next two weeks, my bff had contacted me again on behalf of Beta for another rendezvous. Apparently, despite our lack of chemistry, Beta praised my phenomenal fellatio skills and, interested in fine-tuning my talent, we planned another meet-up.
Without many places to go, our friends got together and we all went to hang out at a local park. Beta and I wandered off and I proceeded to perform amazing fellatio in the park on a small blanket that we had brought for comfort.
Overall, it was an interesting experience. I liked having the comfort of practicing skills on an associate and the no-pressure situation of casual hook-ups. There were no feelings of embarrassment for shitty and awkward sex or need to justify my intentions.
Ive probably spoken to/seen Beta 1-2 times since then but if he were to walk in this room right now we’d be able to catch up like no time was lost. I’m still friends with our mutual friend and the entire ordeal hasn’t come up since then & that was 12 years ago!
Looking back I am always astonished about how direct and confident I had been regarding my sexuality and desires. Even before I truly had the self-esteem to back it, Ive always made a commitment to myself that I would project an air of confidence, knowing that it was much sexier than the insecurities most teens/young 20 yr olds project.
Id say that paid off.